Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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