I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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