So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
