all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
