Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
