I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize