so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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