I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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