you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
