I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
