Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
