Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
