the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so let's talk penis.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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