So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
