Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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