that's an acceptable place to lick
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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