I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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