I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
