he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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