he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
