haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize