are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
