Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
