it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
