Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
