my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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