thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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