I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
