She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
