hell yes lets make some ravioli
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
