u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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