Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
