Where did you get a picture of my penis
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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