Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
