Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
