keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
