I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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