I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
