we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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