he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
