you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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