Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Life is so much better after having sex.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
