I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
