When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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