she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
