after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
