well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
