you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
