did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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