She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
