he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize