ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
