We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
