just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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