Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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