in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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