Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize