Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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