whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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