i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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