I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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