So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize