Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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