i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well you can't waste a boner
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
