do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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