Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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